Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
