whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Randomize
