i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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