It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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