I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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