Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
