If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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