i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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