I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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