butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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