I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
