i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
