No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Randomize
