at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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