I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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