the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
pray to the hookup gods
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
