One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
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