Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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