I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
