Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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