Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
