this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Randomize