I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize