I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
