i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
