I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
