i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
