it hurts more in the daytime
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
