Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
