She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
