How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
