It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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