I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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