i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
