I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
