and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
