I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
