wanna go halves on a baby?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize