Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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