The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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