i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
