what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
