I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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