My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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