Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize