you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
