I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
