Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Farmville is her only friend.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
