He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
