TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
