You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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