OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
