is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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