So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
