i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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