I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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