In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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