Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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