I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
