I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
