Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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