I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
