i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
