I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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