Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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