its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
